


All these woes

by rusalka_dances_the_polka



Series: Oh, think’st thou we shall ever meet again? [1]
Category: Trollhunters (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-08-22 20:59:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16605341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rusalka_dances_the_polka/pseuds/rusalka_dances_the_polka
Summary: The greatest adventures, the most heartache, the sweetest things in an extra-ordinary life, are sometimes still caused by ordinary bad... decisions.





	1. In a minute there are many days

He had passed the small town of Hidalgo when he detected the well-known sensation he'd been chasing for almost two weeks now. He'd guess his destination was no more than 30 miles away.

Slowing down significantly he steered his bike to the side of the road and stopped, hurridly rumaging through his saddlebag to pull out the device that would hopefully lead to his success. Every moment now counted, he coult feel it.

He looked at it critically, before he sighed and activated it. His breath caught for a moment in his throat. Using a rare, magical tool like this still had that effect on him. Looking up to the sun, still burning bright in the sky, he closed his eyes and prayed for this to work before he checked his phone.

He needed this to work. He didn't know what to do, what else he had to try, should this fail.

It was bad enough, that he had to resort to trickery like this. And it certainly didn't help the anxiety he felt anyway.

But what else was he supposed to do? Let it go? Forget about it? No. That was completely out of question.

The hot sun on his back spurned him on, his leather jacket creaking as he stuffed the tool back into his bag, kick starting the motor again. He knew quite well, that he was risking his neck like this and the gnawing pang of resentment bubbled up. 

Closely followed by self-reprimand.

He had no reason for resentment and certainly no right towards it. It was part his own fault after all... That's why he needed to end this game of cat and mouse. 

His stomach rolled in anxiety yet again.

What if he was too late? What if...- No. He didn't want to think about it.

One step after another.

Right now he needed to concentrate. Following the feeling that would finally take him to his goal.

To the quarry he had been hunting.

He needed to be quick if he wanted to make this work. No matter how anxious he was about the possible outcome.

Gathering speed, he reached the town's outskirts a short time later. Then he had to slow down to get around cars and pedestrians, though it only took him a few minutes more to find the hotel.  
It was obviously the right place as the humming in his brain told him.

Stopping his bike and turning off the motor, he took a deep breath and would have sworn that he could already smell his prey if he hadn't known that it was a side effect of his ability. That it was not a real stimulus, but his brain's work.

He got off his motorcycle, took the bag and couldn't help but take slow, deliberate steps. 

He had time now that he made it. She wouldn't run.

He walked into the patio and stopped in front of a door. He knew she'd be there. Not for sure, yes. But the sensation had grown with each step. A slight, constant humming in the back of his brain, like a swarm of bees, caught in a room deep, deep inside his head. He felt the alarm in that buzz.

And now he could even smell her. Really smell her, not just the perception created by the memory ingrained in his brain.

His nervousness radiated right down to the tips of his fingers when he reached for the door knob, making them feel almost numb when he turned it. With a light click it opened and he pushed.  
His breath hitched.

There she was. Motionless, her eyes wide as she looked right into his own. He swallowed.

"Hi Claire." He said quietly and stepped into the dark stuffy room, closing the door behind him in one fluid motion.

Then he locked it from the inside.


	2. I shall be much in years

He turned around to face her again and sighed. His heart broke a little at the expression on her face and he had to swallow, fighting down the urge to reach up and caress her cheek.

  
He was not in the place to do this anymore. Still, he couldn't help it but take off his helmet before taking another step towards her, to bend down and look into her eyes.  
They still let his heart beat faster after all those years. He was thirty now, he'd first seen those eyes more than half his lifetime ago.

  
Pressing his own eyes shut, he breathed out through his nose and turned his head upwards. He'd rather stand there and count every and each one of her lashes, but that was not the reason for why he was here. 

  
It would also be rather creepy. Not that he didn't feel pretty shitty for what he was about to do anyway.

  
"Sorry." He mumbled, before he turned towards the window and yanked the curtains closed. Then he looked towards the door again, thinking. After short deliberation he opened his bag to look for a pin. One of her earlier inventions. He had opted against using them, but he hadn't taken into consideration that he could also use them this way.

  
He certainly wouldn't tell the old man about this.

  
Then he turned towards the door again. He had already locked it, but adding another seal would be safer. He used the chalk, then stuck another pin into the wood for good measure.

  
When he was finished with the door he turned towards Claire again and took out the stones, placing them around her in a perfect circle.

  
Well. He had to adjust them a few times to make sure it really was a circle, trying to make it as big as possible. Then he added the runes with chalk, making sure to get them right.  
Deya forbid he made a mistake and something went wrong...

  
After checking a first, then a second time he was content. Looking at the watch on his wrist he saw that he still had about 3 Minutes.

  
After a short debate with himself he sat down on the bed facing the door, bending down to place the kairosect on the floor at his feet. Between him and Claire, so she could see it the moment she turned around to face him.

  
He had thought about sitting down in the circle with her, but he didn't want her to freak out more than she'd do anyways.

  
He'd also like to keep his head where it was.

  
Looking at her still back, he could feel the anxiety well up in him once again and fought the urge to stand up again and look at her. Really look at her.

  
It was to early for that anyway.

  
But still, he couldn't help wondering... couldn't help debating once again if what he was doing was right or wrong.

  
If he was being transgressive.

  
He certainly felt like it, but he was also so very much desperate.

  
And it didn't help that he could sense her own desperation as well.

  
That feeling had pushed him into action. He couldn't just sit back and wait. He felt like someone had pulled out the ground from underneath him and Claire was the one with a rope in her hands.

  
The shrill beeping of his phone shook him out of his thoughts. When he turned the alarm off he set his eyes on the woman in front of him, waiting.

  
After another moment he narrowed his eyes. He could see the slight movement of her shoulders.

  
Jim coughed, to call her attention to him.


	3. Before I again behold my Romeo

She blinked and immediately knew that something was wrong.

  
No, not wrong. Too late, as she heard him clear his throat behind her.

  
She had been too slow, she realized as her eyes focused on the door handle. A magical rune encircled the knob, sealing her in. She also noticed the pin and her eyes flew to the window. Sure enough. The curtains were closed and pinned together. Another escape route closed off. Clever.

  
She heard him say her name quietly and closed her eyes, letting her head sink and when she opened her eyes again, she could see the kristalls. Their gloom not enough to lighten up the room, but that was not their purpose after all. Merlin and Blinky had obviously helped him with this trap.

  
And her parents, probably even her abuelita, she thought miserably.

  
Her stomach roiled and she resisted the impulse to press her hand against it. Grimacing before she turned around to face him.

  
There he was, brows forrowed. Worry etched on his face and sitting on the foot of the cheap matress where she had been crying her eyes out just this morning. Again. She noticed the kairosect on the floor between them and hummed.

  
So that's how he managed to catch her...

  
Not that she would have been able to run away forever...

  
"Congratulations trollhunter." She mumbled, hugging herself "You found me. What are you going to do now?"

  
His brows furrowed more and he closed his eyes before he sighed and his face took on a thoughtful expression.

  
"How are you, Claire?"

  
She faltered, taken aback before she raised her eyebrows at him "Are you serious? That's what you want to know?"

  
"What do you expect me to ask?" he countered in a serious tone and she snorted.

  
She didn't feel like playing along.

  
"What do you want, Jim?"

  
"Talk." he said, "just talk.", "Didn't we recognize that 'just talking' is not going to cut it, the last time we had a conversation like this?" She scoffed.

  
"Claire... I think we would need to be together before having another break up talk..."

  
She shook her head and crossed her arms "What do you want, Jim?"

  
"You." he said immediately and after a moment of shocked silence he added a futile "Sorry."

  
Claire shook her head and hoped that her expression wasn't as pained as it felt like. "It's been over six years, Jim..."

  
Their eyes met and she knew what he was thinking of.

  
"It was a mistake." She added haltingly.

  
"Was it?" He asked, his eyes burning into her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... the prelude is finished. The next part will be updated by the end of this week and it will be... different. Very different indeed.


	4. Let me be captured. Let me be put to death

He could remember that day before the battle vividly, he had tried to capture and savor every moment after all.

  
Remembered how she came to him. How he had thought they wouldn't live to see the next morning...

  
But then it wasn't their last day and what had happened between them left them in a very... awkward place. He had tried to talk about it. She tried to avoid the topic.

  
But she also stayed.

  
Of _course_ she told everyone that she just wanted to help and rebuild, to make sure, that even the last drop of dark magic would be rendered harmless... But he couldn't help but hope. Not a month later though she disappeared without a word towards him and he couldn't help but twist his brain, ask himself whether he was at fault somehow. Was it something he had said or done to make her leave? He couldn't think of one thing, but she had suddenly avoided him, then left after telling Blinky she was needed... elsewhere. It was all so very strange until her mother called...

  
He would have taken responsibility if she had given him the chance to do so. Instead she disappeared on him.

  
After processing the shock, learning the reason for why she left, he couldn't help but feel... excited... and hurt.

  
Within moments his whole life had turned in on itself. Again.

  
She knew that he'd never turn his back on her in a situation like this, so having her turn her back on him felt like... betrayal. Like rejection of the worst kind.

  
But his sense of responsibility made it impossible for him to leave her be.

  
So he went to her childhood home. And she ran away. Well, disappeared on him yet again would be a more fitting description.

  
Her father had led him to her that evening and the moment she saw him, she froze. It didn't take a hunting instinct to see that she was about to flee. Even when he kept his distance and her parents tried to explain the situation in calming words, she had taken the first chance to grab her purse and use some kind of portal. Probably something she devised herself.

  
To say that it stung was an understatement... Her parents were shocked. Still Jim couldn't help but feel wronged. She had been afraid, that much was clear. He literally smelled her fear. But what was she afraid of? Him? Why? They had been seperated for years yes, but had she really forgotten that he'd never try anything else but his best to help her in a situation like they were in?

  
They. Not just her. Just because she didn't love him anymore didn't mean, she was alone in this.

  
Her fear was unbearable to him... But he was also angry at her for leaving him, hurt that she ran away- and conflicting emotions, especially negative ones, were things he found very hard to deal with.

And he had sworn to himself, that he'd never again walk down that dark path... He had overcome his aggressive nature. Feeling angry at her- especially now seemed... so wrong.

  
Disoriented and distraught he visited his mother to tell her the news and they talked. A long time.

  
By the end of it, he still felt distraught. Desperate even but at least he knew what he'd do. He could not comprehend the reasons for her behaviour, but he could deal with it. He had to.

  
She was pregnant with his child and afraid and alone and probably just as desperate as him. And even if she didn't want him in her life, the situation she was in was part his fault and he would be there for her until they had a... solution.

  
If that meant he would have to track her down, he'd do so.

  
In the following days he had worked with her parents, his mother, Toby and lastly Blinky and even Merlin to find and get to her. After his first futile attempts, Toby caused him to have an idea.  
"Can't you use that sixth troll sense to track her down or something?"

  
Jim looked at his best friend with a questioning look. "Sixth troll sense?"

  
They sat in Toby's house. His little daughter was playing at their feet, causing Jim a whole lot of strange emotions...

  
"Yeah man..." Toby shifted, his arm still in a sling. A souvenir of their battle, weeks ago. He had almost lost that arm. So the sling was an improvement.

  
"Don't tell me you don't know what I mean. I mean... No offence, but years ago I thought it was some troll-mate-kind of thing, you know? But after seeing you two together again, I noticed that you _still_ do it." Toby explained matter of factly and Jim furrowed his brows.

  
"Tobes. Honestly? I have no idea what you're talking about."

  
Toby gave him an incredulous look in return.

  
"You're kidding, right? You, my friend, seem to know where Claire is at all times. Especially during battle. You turn around when she comes through the door, before it openes. You throw your blades, knocking out opponents attacking her, without possibly seeing them yourself and you want to tell me that you haven't noticed that?"

  
Jim faltered... and realized that his friend was right. It wasn't like he had never noticed it before. He knew of the strange sensation he felt, when she was near. But he certainly hadn't realized how pervasive it was.

  
What if he could train this...?

  
It took him a week of concentrated training (or meditating in this case) and scheming with both Blinky and Merlin, as well as their parents to prepare his hunt. Then they got Claire's grandmother to call her.

  
They knew that she was in Mexico, but she wouldn't even tell her parents where exactly and had managed to outsmart Merlin in covering her tracks. They hoped she would betray herself to her grandmother. And she did.

  
When her abuelita called him back, his bike was already mounted to the gyre.


	5. I am content, if that's the way you want it

Unable to hold his gaze, she looked away.

  
She knew that acting the way she did must have hurt him, but he should never have found out in the first place.

  
It was a childish, futile and somewhat egoistic hope, but... she still had been so confused, when he had suddenly stood in her parents living room.

  
His appearance made her realize that she could no longer pretend that nothing happened. That everything was still normal. It made her painfully aware that her time had run out and sent her into panic mode yet again.

  
She still remembered taking the test. More to assure herself that it was just a bug. Just a coincidence... It wasn't that uncomon to skip a period. Especially after a battle like the one she had fought. She'd been stressed, that was all. But when she took a second test, then a magic potion, the result stayed the same.

  
Suddenly she asked herself how in the world she had come to believe, that staying in trollmarket after the battle had been a good idea. Her former logic on that decision was lost in a swarm of alarmed and panicked thoughts. She packed her bag and fled to her family.

  
She told herself, that as long as Jim didn't know, she'd be able to think. Looking back, she had just tried to ignore the impending tumultous changes that were coming for her. Told herself that she still had the option to go back to her old life or at least keep him out of it. Somehow.

  
God knows how hard she had fought with herself on that.

  
On one hand, she would have never thought as a young girl that she'd ever be in a situation like this in the first place, she was too much of a perfectionist for that. For her it had always been absolutely clear, that on any given chance she would accept the consequences of her actions. It had seemed simple. Back then she was still idealistic, so self assured about her own morals.

  
She hadn't accounted for the fact that such decisions were not only revolving around herself...

  
For one, she was horribly afraid for her future child.

  
The childs father was another very, _very_ important factor.

  
When he had been younger, Jim had sometimes expressed his regret about never having a family with her now and then. The idea of becoming a father one day had been of earnest interest to him, but that changed after his transformation and one too many battles...

  
His life was constant chaos and fighting and war. Whenever he defeated an enemy, two new ones just waited around the corner. Whenever the topic of children came up, he argued that his lifestyle wouldn't allow it anyway. That's why they were careful even though they had no idea whether he could have children in the first place. By the time they broke up he was clear on never having children. He had witnessed too much loss. The thought of raising a child inbetween wars and attacking enemies was ridiculous, or so he liked to point out.

  
She was still sure, that he generally liked the idea of having children. But the thought of putting them in danger, simply by being who he was? Who she was? He had a point.

  
Thinking of carrying a baby, giving birth, holding it, loving it only to loose it to an enemy... her child being hurt or worse... now that she was pregnant that thought made her feel nauseous. And not because of morning sickness.

 

Just days after she found out, the dreams began... Vague, shifting visions, that slipped from her mind the moment she woke from them with a frightful gasp.

  
Distress... that was what she had been feeling almost constantly ever since she took that test... She couldn't decide what to do. Tell him or not... Telling him felt impossible because... what was she supposed to do then? What if he wanted that child? That question made her head feel like it was filled with white noise. But the possibility that he'd reject it anyway? Just the thought hurt so much, she'd rather be a coward and not tell him. But not telling him...? It was easy, but it also felt just plain wrong...

  
And when he suddenly stood in the doorway and she panicked.

  
She knew that using her anchor stone to portal back to Mexico had been ridiculous. But after she started running away, she didn't seem to know how to stop anymore. It certainly was no solution, but she didn't seem able to think of anything better. Her mind was in constant tumult. What in the world was she supposed to do if she decided to keep the baby? Try to keep it hidden from the world in case it took after its father? Hiding away from his enemies in hope they wouldn't use his child against the trollhunter? Or steal it from her, because it might inherit her abilities? How could she alone protect it? Jim himself already knew, sooner or later others would find out as well... The thought of raising her child all alone, hidden away and always on the run made her stomach churn... she didn't want that...

  
Of course she could go back to him... ask him for the help he tried to offer. But raising a child in trollmarket? She knew how difficult it was for him to balance between two worlds.

  
She'd put another burden on his shoulders. One he would carry the hardest she'd guess.

  
And lastly there was also the issue of her own feelings...

  
His next words just stoked the turmoil inside her chest.

  
"Claire." He said, sending her a resolved look "You should know... what happened, was no mistake to me. You know why I'm here."

  
Yes, she knew. Her eyes caught on the kristalls once again. He would not let her go.


	6. I'll say the light over there isn't morning

She looked up at him and he swallowed.

  
At least she didn't have that defiant look on her face anymore. He had expected her to put up more of a fight.

  
He caught her in a rune circle after all...

  
"And why are you here?" She asked. Her arms moved from their crossed position up again, to hug herself again.

  
He hummed "I just... I want to help you. You're not alone in this, you know that, right?"

  
She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment "Yeah well... my parents told me pretty much the same." She shook her head "But it's not that simple, Jim. I can't just talk my fears away."

  
"And what are you afraid of?"  
She arched an eyebrow, before her brows knitted together "You know that. The child of a trollhunter? Gunmar's bane? Morgana's nemesis? What kind of childhood will that be, Jim?"

  
"A protected one." He answered, his expression serious "Claire, I know that our child will certainly not have a normal childhood, but Trollmarket is one of the safest places in this world."

  
She snorted "It will be three quarters a human, Jim! Vulnerable! A child like that growing up in trollmarket? Not being able to live in the human's world? What if she or he needs sunlight, but looks like you? And what about me? You know I can't just stay underground forever. What if they're not accepted by the trolls, nor able to live with humans? What about social life? How will they find friends? What about education...?" She had started to pace in her cage and it made his chest hurt to see her like this.

  
Although, with the way she rambled he couldn't help but be reminded of her mother, getting ahead of her like that...

  
He needed to try talking her out of it anyway. "Listen. Can't we think about these things later? Right now I know one thing: Yes, it will be difficult. Believe me, the reason for why troll hunters usually distance themselves from their loved ones feels certainly... different with a child in mind. But..." he shook his head and took a deep breath, hoping his next words wouldn't upset her "... life. Is dangerous. Trollhunter or witch or general population." He let his head tilt from side to side as he talked."Bad things can happen, but no matter what- I think we're pretty well equiped to protect our own child, especially together, especially in troll market."

  
Within seconds of comprehending his answer Claire's face switched from a dumbfounded to a deeply irritated frown and she shook her head fumbling for words "Are you... are you serious!? You want to compare ogres, flying demon _cows_ and, and medieval secret societies to what??? _Car accidents_!?"

  
Oh boy...

  
He held up his hands "Claire, I'm not saying I have all the answers, just..." he sighed "One step after another. _Please_."

  
She stopped pacing to face him again with a bitter expression.

  
"And what's your first step? Trapping me, until I agree to come back with you?"

  
He leaned back and straightened a little, raising an eyebrow at her. So she was back to defiance again...?

  
He had to hold back a little snort "No. I mean... Well, forgive me for taking such measures, but I honestly didn't know how else I'd get you to talk to me. Anyhow. The first step is finding out what you want to do now. So tell me: What do want to do?" And after another moment he added softly "What do you need, Claire? I just want to help."

  
She faltered. Her rigid shoulders were sinking a little. Good.

  
"I don't know" she admitted and sighed "Why do you think I ran away in the first place, Jim? I'm completely lost... I can't.. I just can't okay?"

  
His heart sank. Of course there was one other course of action aside from coming back with him... And even though the thought made his whole chest ache, he swore to himself that he'd support her no matter what.

  
"Listen." he said and swallowed, trying to choose his words wisely "Claire I can only offer you one thing. Come back to troll market with me. You know I'd do anything for you to come back with me. But if you don't want to... If you don't see another way for yourself than... stopping this. I'll support you regardless. I can't force you to do this. So if you've been struggling with that... with my feelings on that?" He stopped to take a calming breath himself. Because even though he was trying to asure her, that he'd support her every decision... it hurt like hell. He still hoped to come of honestly as he looked in her eyes.

  
"Just know, that I'll do whatever you need me to do."

  
She stood, stock still. Wide eyes, mouth opening and closing without saying anyhing. She breathed and looked away from him for a moment. Her arms came up again to hug herself.

  
It seemed like an eternity to him before she turned her face towards him again.

  
Her eyes still didn't meet his, when she said "That's not what I want." Her voice was small. As if she almost didn't dare to say it out loud. Then her eyes met his.

  
"I want to have this baby."


	7. I want to stay more than I want to go

He released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. His heart beat faster and he hoped that he wouldn't break out in a moronic grin, offending her.

  
Oh, who was he kidding... the relief he felt was probably plastered across his face. It was like a little switch had been flipped in his brain. The worry replaced by anticipation in the blink of an eye.

  
He had had enough time thinking about it. Debate it with himself. But despite everything, he never for a second questioned that he'd want this. Want their child. Hell- wanted her! After all these years he still did. But he knew it was ridiculous to fantasize about getting her back and suddenly becoming a happy little family.

  
They had been apart for so long...

  
Claire did not want to be part of the troll world anymore, she had wanted more from life. Explore, learn, find her own destiny. Things that she could not do at his side. He had his duties and honestly... he just never really warmed up to magic again... and as much as he wanted to support her, he couldn't completely hide that... Somewhere along the way they started to speak different languages without noticing.

  
She had broken his heart back then and taken a part with her. And even after all these years he never stopped hoping that she'd bring it back to him.

  
But of course not like this. Not by force. Not because she had no other choice.

  
So he felt like kind of an asshole to be so inveterately happy about the situation.

  
And then there was the potential baby of course...

  
Just because he accepted the idea immediately, didn't mean he wasn't terrified. Claire was an extremely powerful witch... With her being vulnerable, there were at least a handful of assclowns he could think of, who could get very, very dumb ideas...

  
Even if she told him directly to leave her alone, that was simply not possible. Not if he had to fear for her safety as well as that of his child.

  
His child... She wanted this child.

  
It was too early to get completely hooked on it, but he couldn't help feeling a rush of happiness.

  
A few months from now he might be a father...

  
When she ran away he had questioned himself, if it had been his fault. If his negative attitude towards having children when they had been a couple may have caused her reaction, at least in part. He knew that was mainly a strategy of coping with the fact that he'd probably never have children. But she didn't.

  
He hadn't allowed himself to hope until this very moment.

  
But by Deya had he wanted to hope...

  
"Ok." Was all he could say.

  
"You want to have this baby. Ok."

  
He looked at her in careful consideration, choosing his next words, as she hugged herself thighter and brought a hand up to rub down her face.

  
He wanted to ask her if she was tired, if she wanted to sit down, but bit down the impulse to fuss over her. This was a delicate situation and his not quite human brain was no good for those, as he had learned in the past.

  
Question though... questions were always a relatively safe idea. Answers to questions gave him hints on how to react.

  
"So. What do you want to do next?"

  
She scoffed an unhappy laugh. "Jim... do I look to you like I have a plan?"

  
Well. That hadn't worked.

  
"Okay. Then come back to troll market with me, get your head clear, decide later."

  
"Get my head clear in troll market? Are you serious?"

  
"Yes?"

  
"No!"

  
"Then what? You want to stay here?"

  
She groaned, shaking her head. "No! Of course not."

  
She started to pace her small circle again.

  
"Then-... I don't know Claire. Where do you want to... you know... where do you want to give birth? Back in Arcadia?"

  
"Yes?" She gave him a... confused look? Then knitted her brows, blinked and shook her head. "No. I can't have this child in some normal hospital! I know, there are people that know about trolls, but you're the trollhunter Jim! And I'm... well me. You know there are people- and other creatures out there, who just wait for an opportunity like this..." She stopped and squeezed her eyes shut "It's too early to think about this anyway. Why are you even asking me this now!?"

  
"Because I'm concerned. That's why I want to take you to trollmarket, Claire. I can... we can protect you there. I'm begging you!"  
She shook her head "I can't."

  
"Why!? You want to hide somewhere instead? Give birth on your own?"   
"Of course not!"

  
"Then why not troll market? At least... stay till the baby is here."

  
"I said no, Jim."

  
"And why not? Can you explain that to me?" His patience was running out.

  
She was afraid and confused okay. But being pregnant was no excuse for not making any sense like this. She had to see that troll market was her best option or at least have another idea to turn him down like this.

  
She stopped and turned her back to him, gripping her head.

  
"I just can't okay!? Stop this!" Her voice wavered. "Just stop it."

  
Jim looked up at the ceiling for a moment, inhaling a deep breath, before he looked down. Shaking his head in defeat.

  
"Claire... I know you don't have any feelings for me anymore. Okay. It might be awkward to live in trollmarket under these circumstances, being near me and all. But it's the safest option for you and our child and enables me to be a part of their life! I mean... what is this?" It was his turn to be exasperated "Do you hate me so much?"

  
"Who says I don't have feelings for you anymore!?" she blurted.

  
Her voice shook and the moment the words left her mouth her shoulders went rigid.

  
She couldn't see the wide eyed look on his face but he suddenly thought back to that day...  
To the way she had sighed his name...

  
How she had mewled against his neck, about how much she had missed him.

  
Back then he had allowed himself some hopeless fantasy, that she said those words with some deeper meaning behind them. And when he made her look at him, she had seemed so heartbroken... he couldn't help but imagine that she felt heartbroken about all that time apart and not just about the fact, that they might be dead by next dawn.

  
She still had feelings for him...

  
She was carrying his child after some horribly dumb, wonderful mistake and she still had feelings for him...

  
He might try to put the blame on his troll instincts later on, but he couldn't help but stand and slowly approach her.


	8. Come, death, and welcome!

She heard him move and wiped at her eyes before she dared to turn her head to look back at him.

  
When she saw his face she cursed inwardly again.

  
The last time he looked at her like that was that day, not so long ago. So, so endearingly hopeful...

  
Why had she admitted, that she still had feelings for him!?

  
What kind of horrible person did that to the man whose heart she had broken almost freaking 7 years ago!? Just shortly before their anniversary at that! She went into the light to have the life he had given up for everyone he loved. For her.

  
It didn't matter, that she never really got over him. It was obvious that his feelings for her were stronger still. And it wasn't fair to take advantage of that.

  
She didn't deserve him. She wanted to run, to get away, but by the gods... those eyes made her knees feel like rubber.

  
Wide eyed she turned towards him, while taking a step back at the same time. He did not fulfill her internal wish and stop. Instead he took another step towards her.

  
She swallowed. She wanted to tell him to stay away, but she couldn't seem to find her voice.

  
Only when he broke the circle and her back hit the door a moment later did she manage to get out a weak "Stop." but he was already right in front of her. Giving her a soft smile and pulling her towards him, into his arms.

  
She struggled weakly against him and felt comppletely overextended. Tense to her teeth, when his hand slipped into her hair. Cupping her head against his chest. She wanted to shove away and run just as much as she wanted to melt into him and cry. Forget about all those fears she had been beating herself up about. She somehow felt entrapped and freed at the same time.

  
Everything could be so easy. She could just tell him that she wanted to go back with him.

  
But that wasn't okay.

  
She had abandoned him and broken his heart. She couldn't just go back and pretend they could be the same again. They were not the same anymore.

  
She couldn't go back to her old life. She had chosen something else.

  
He would be happy, obviously. But going back, just because it was the best solution, because she couldn't help wanting him when she was near him, even after all these years. It was not... fair. Neither to him, nor towards her.

  
"I can't do this." She whispered.

  
"You can't do what?" He asked in turn and she could feel him press his lips against the crown of her head.

  
She fisted her hand into his shirt. "This. It's been 7 years, Jim. We can't just go back to the way things were."

  
She heard him chuckle "Oh I doubt that'll happen, Claire. Not with..."

  
He trailed off and she sighed.

  
"That's not what I mean. I chose a different life. I hurt you..."

  
"Yes. That was then and this is now. I was hurt and I got over it. But I never stopped hoping, that you'd change your mind someday, that you'd want me again. Because I will. Always."

  
"Even if I only come back because I have no other choice?" It was a dirty trick, but the words slipped out before she could stop them.

  
She screwed her eyes shut, feeling ashamed.

  
Oh Deya, when had she last not felt ashamed...?

  
He pushed away a little and she could feel his big hand cup her face.

  
"You just said you want to have this baby. Do you or not? Don't say something like that just because of me."

  
She opened her eyes to look at him. "That's not... Yes." she said. More assured this time "Yes, I want it."

  
The moment he had offered her a choice, the answer suddenly seemed clear. That white noise drowning out her own thoughts disappeared. He was still too important to her... Giving up their child seemed like too much of a betrayal not only to him, but to herself. She'd regret it too deeply. That didn't mean that she didn't feel deeply conflicted about it as well.

  
"Then it seems you made a choice." He countered, cupping her face with his other hand as well.

  
"Jim..." she pressed her eyes shut again "This doesn't seem like much of a choice."

  
He chuckled again and she almost felt affronted. Almost.

  
When she opened her eyes, he smiled genuinely "Claire, life doesn't go the way you planned. _Ever_. And sometimes you're not left with much of a choice and you're forced to make the best of it. _I_ would know. Just try to make the best choice for yourself." He sneaked his arm around her waist and pushed her up against him in a way he used to do when they were younger.

  
With their faces only inches apart he added in a murmur: "It doesn't matter how. If you come back to me, I'd be the happiest man alive. I would have waited a hundred years and take you back in the blink of an eye. I love you."

  
Her eyes closed as his lips met hers and she couldn't help but melt into the kiss.


	9. Chapter 9

When he let her down to the ground she leaned against him, her forehead pressed into his chest and she sighed.

  
"Now what?" He heard her mumble.

  
He slipped his other arm around her waist as well. "Now you come back with me to trollmarket." He quipped in an significantly more cheerful tone.

  
Claire leaned back and whacked his chest.

  
"Way to get ahead of yourself trollhunter."

  
He just chuckled in response, while she rolled her eyes and let her forehead fall against his chest again.

  
"I'm serious Jim. We've just decided... we'll have a baby in a few months."

  
If she thought those words would have a sobering effect on him, she was wrong. He had spent days, weeks, worrying that his possibly only chance to ever have a child of his own, a child with the love of his life, might have slipped out of his hands before he even had the chance to acknowledge it as such.

  
Her confession, the fact that she wanted this... it felt a little crazy, but he hadn't even been that relieved since the moment when Morgana was finally defeated.

  
So her words sent a shower of warmth through him.

  
When he looked down at her though, ready for another quip, he faltered. She still looked so small and lost and...

  
"You're tired, aren't you?" he put a hand on her shoulder and she nodded.

  
"Hmm. Didn't really sleep that well for a while now. Morning sickness is a pain in the ass."

  
He raised his eyebrows at her and couldn't help a smirk. Claire did rarely swear. Then he glanced at the bed and thought for a moment.

  
"Then why don't you lie down." he told her as he pushed her chin up to look at him. "I'd like to leave at nightfall, I may be safe but I still prefer the dark if you know what I mean."

  
She closed her eyes and nodded before she looked at him again "I think that's a good idea."

  
She went over to the bed and sat. As she laid down though she glanced at him, while he packed the kairosect and the kristalls into his bag. She didn't mention that he still didn't remove the rune at the doorhandle, nor the spellbound pins, fixating the door and curtains in time and thus making them immovable.

  
"Jim?" She said after another moment and leaned up on her forearm to look at him "Um... would you mind... would you mind, staying with me."

  
When he heard her words he stopped in his tracks and the last kristall dropped from his bag where he had put it just a moment before. "Uh..." He glanced at the stone distractedly, before a smile slipped on his lips "Sure, just... just give me a moment." He stuffed the kristall into his bag before he stood and laid down on the other side of the bed. He felt a little awkward in his leather pants, but taking them off would be weirder.

  
She faced him on the bed and when he settled down a small smile grazed her lips "Hey." she said and he repeated after her. Then, after another moment, another glance at him, she turned around and shuffled backwards towards him until her back pressed against him.

  
"No funny business!" She warned and he almost rolled his eyes. She sounded like they were still 16... "I just... I just want to..."

  
"Cuddle." He chuckled "Sure. You're more then welcome." then he put his arm around her, pulling her against him and she sighed.

  
For a moment he wasn't sure where to put his hand. He took her hands into his for a moment but felt like it were too close to her chest that way, too intimate. Her skin too soft. He'd start trailing his hand up and down her arms before he knew it. Touching silky human skin was addicting to him. So he laid his hand down on the bedcover.

  
As her breathing evened out he had more time to think...

  
This right now felt like it was just too good to be real after all they had been through... he hadn't been able to eat or sleep since her grandmother had called him.

  
 _"Ándale chavalín! She is not well. So hurry!"_ she had told him.

  
_"Did she say something?"_

  
_"No, no she did not have to. You can hear in her voice."_

  
And now she slept in his arms.

  
With a jolt he realised he needed to call... everyone. Her parents had been anxious ever since she disappeared from under their noses. They had been honestly surprised by her reaction. After all their daughter had always been someone who held herself together, an extremely logical and practical person like her wouldn't freak out, they thought. She was a grown woman after all. They were wrong.  
Knowing her, her own behaviour must have caused a whole lot of stress for her as well. No wonder she was tired...

  
He felt sleep crawl up on him as well, but not before his thoughts slipped back to... well, to the fact that she was pregnant.

  
There were still so many things that could go wrong. It was so early still. Although it felt longer. His worry had been stretching days into what felt like weeks. But now that he had had the chance to look at her... he really couldn't tell that she was pregnant. Maybe if they had been together... He took a deep breath. Hoping that she wouldn't notice. But he couldn't resist to try and see if he could detect some change. He thought she might smell a little different, but he wouldn't bet on it. He certainly wouldn't know what it was, if he wouldn't be told.

  
After another moment of thought, his hand slowly moved over her belly. His arm leaning on her waist. Maybe it was cheesy - hopefully not creepy, but the thought that right there underneath his hand, a baby was growing... He couldn't help but feel awed.

  
Of course he shared all of Claires fears about their baby's future. About their shared future- Gosh, he really hoped they'd have a future together. But he couldn't help the happiness he felt.

  
For just a moment he wanted to feel selfishly happy about destiny's dark humor, he'd worry his head about the rest later. Much later.

  
For now he wanted to look forward to their times to come and let the feeling of hope lull him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much for the prequel. I'll start posting the next part of the series (Times to come) by the end of next week. Those chapters will be more like oneshots of the following events and the time span between postings will be longer, as will the chapters.
> 
> I'd also like to add that the story was heavily influenced by "Growing daylight" from Mintyscakepups: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16251743/chapters/37996997
> 
> So check it out if you haven't done so yet :)

**Author's Note:**

> This piece is part of a bigger project, that just would not. leave me. alone. It's going to be pretty cliché pretty soon, but for these first parts I let readers keep guessing where this is going.


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